peeling back the petals

~ womb wisdom ~
episode 07

"Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay“
–  Dalai Lama
Those soft but strong connections between, Rose and Mary Magdalene. Linked together by a deep line, circling back to an ancient time. For the feminine can be wild and ferocious too, unveiling her mysteries for truths to flow through. Are you truly prepared for the sacred Waters, guarded closely by all of her daughters. Bravely swimming upstream to her waterfall, but few have the true power to leap this mighty water wall. Returning to the pool from which you birthed, what treasures might now be unearthed. Rose taught me that part by way of the Koi carp.

You see you need this raw power to reach these rare truths, but must trust in self to sail through these tollbooths. Has your heart been truly worn upon your sleeve, or hidden away to yet still deceive. Your heart will now be weighed on her sacred scale and it's this that will govern whether you'll pass or fail.

What of those who haven't earned their keep, exploiting and extracting Water from depths so deep. This sexual power might still surge and rise to their head, but lacking in purity and corrupting mind instead. No sparkling crown with all its glory, nor shift in tide and changing story.

Purified Water reaches heart by blood flowing, moving to extremities for true feeling and knowing. Letting go of old emotions by resurfacing them once more, peeling back the petals to live as we did once before. Sighing and exhaling with every deep release, lightening the load and a floating sense of peace. Those emotional defenses, walls built around the heart, crumble with the force of Rose, for true love to truly start.

Directress of dreamstate, awakening in the night, digging out old memories, to See them in new light. Changing the course of days that follow, better times we forward borrow.

So let's sweetly sip from the Holy grail and remember once more life's hidden tale. Vesica Piscis resembles the fish bladder, kundalini rising the spiral spiritual ladder. For now is the moment to wake from the spell, chalice in hand by the wishing well. Lady of the lake emerges holding the sword, passing it over, divine genders restored. For behind every great man a great woman shows the way, find them both inside you and you won't be led astray.

Rose roams wildly on the Southern side of my land, her flowering bouquets in May year on year expand. As with her flower form she can be soft and sensitive, but there's a thornier side, wounding and wounded, attacking and defensive. She can be docile or dominant with her demands, but calls to communicate she clearly commands. Sometimes, when gardening or walking past she beckons, it's time to connect in again for the next round of lessons.

She teaches virtues like those of Mary Magdalene's and lost stories connected with The Essenes. Then there's the mists of Avalon and sacred feminine truth, the blood of Christ and the cup of eternal youth. Where there's Rose, there's spiritual stories to be told, but only to be revealed to the brave heart so bold.

Her channeling of Water, cool, calm and collected, compassionately caring, living life unaffected. A path of forgiveness, yes I've been hurt before, but the layers of armour never served me and so I dropped them to the floor.

Dear friend, there's more to life than meets the eye, perhaps some confusion within the illusion, projecting what needs correcting, reliving what needs forgiving. It's a mighty task and endeavour to respond with unconditional love to the whatever. It's the road less traveled, but the path of least resistance, when one flows with the heartstream, gently guided by its assistance. 

These are my own insights, but a great beauty of life is that of perspective, so how might others respond to the spirit of Rose, unbeknownst to this being the spirit they are receiving. How might they perceive it through their six senses. And when the heart is met by a touch so tender, one simply surrenders to its splendour.

Whilst this podcast focuses on two stories, more sharings can be read in raw after-session written form below.
* some participant names have been changed for pen names.
* no participants were informed that it was the spirit of Rose we were working with until after they had all shared their experience of the Session.


Hello, my name is Lindsay. I am a supremely sensitive being, and a total nerd.

I am deeply passionate as well as peaceful by nature. I spent about ten years in the modeling industry, living around the world, certain that it would help me feel comfortable being seen, but it unsurprisingly had the opposite effect. I folded in on myself even further. For a long time I didn’t want to live, but I simply didn’t want to live the way I was living, in the reality I was participating in. The chaos that I often found myself trying to escape from was not, in fact, me failing or the world rallied against me, but unexperienced potential. It invited me to stop resisting, and instead, expand into a new way of being- one where I could thrive.

My spiritual path opened to my awareness with a kundalini awakening two years ago, which has led me on a journey that has brought profound shifts - a LOT of release - and incredible blessings into my experience of the world.

I am here in this life as a cosmic connector. A bridge. Who guides souls from one way of being to another.

This was my second Plantally session, and they were only 2 weeks apart, so it was very interesting to observe what arrived in my field, asking for my presence, and what shifts I was open to embracing with each essence.

I cannot say I “stumbled upon” Plantally, as it was a very lived experience of words having creational power. My musings with a dear friend about the possibility of tuning into the medicine of plants brought Andy crystal clear into my field by way of an interview he did with Steve Nobel. I received a highly affecting dose of the medicine from the transmissions shared in the Poppy and Octopus podcast, and shortly thereafter experienced my first session.

In my 34 years of this life, I have learned that resistance can be very crafty, but that I cannot “miss” what I came here for. I have learned that I was born for this time. I have also learned that suffering has a role to play- but it is a supporting role- one that is not here to stay, but rather to be transmuted should we choose. In trying experiences - depression, the loss of a child, anxiety, sexual abuse... these are all initiations that in very poignant ways offer a way for the heart to be splintered wide open, to shed a shell or armor that is keeping life at arms length. Until recently, I collected suffering, because I believed it made me strong. Look at what I’ve been through, my ego could whisper within. But in that, it could also whisper look at how you’re failing. Look at how you are unworthy of better things. Because I was not letting go of what was ready to die in order to receive the blessing of new, expansive life. I was not ready to face the thorn in my side. There is something transcendentally rare about the rose, she brings a juxtaposed balance- a sacred strength supporting a divinely delicate grace. And all that rests upon shaky foundations begin to wobble. Where am I holding on, clutching to beliefs and patterns that keep me from blooming? Where have I not received the learnings from my own life? During this time with rose, I have been invited to take a long drink from the chalice of my life, and acknowledge it is easy to blame, it is easy to project, it is easy to close and wish to be anywhere but where you are. It is not easy, to open to the experience that life is gifting you- to face the shadow, to discover the thread of how - once healed- the initiations/the thorns are a boundary in service that allows the rose to become with sacred resilience.

I had been deep in resistance to my life in the 2 months leading up to the session, wondering why I wasn’t receiving what I felt I was so committed to. My knowings guided me to experiences which went so differently than how I thought they would. As Rose entered my field, a sweet shift began to present itself. I realised I was clinging to the belief that I didn’t have help, that all fell to me. The week before the session, I was sobbing in the night for help from the Universe. And yet, when it came - in numerical messages, in conversation, in situations, in opportunities, I closed- refusing to receive the water that would quench this desperate thirst. I was constantly magnetising to me all I needed to birth what I wished to create, But I was simply too bound to my old beliefs to receive this potential. My thorns, instead of being the foundation to bring forth my own wisdom, were turned inward in self harm and judgement.

Old memories resurfaced of manipulation and sexual projections, a pattern playing out over the decades and lifetimes: a belief that I was tethered to suffering at the hands of others and I could never be free. I started to see the power I had given away, I knew why I had fled my body, why I was so afraid to anchor- my deep sensitivity couldn’t bear the betrayal of trust, my own naïveté collapsing in on me. How could I not have seen? And so I did what I could at the time to cope as I blamed my innocence for my hurt- stone upon stone, mounting heavier and heavier so that I carried not only the pain of experience, but the pain of lack and unworthiness.

It is the same pain of lack we have all felt on some level, the mother wound, the searching for home, grieving a loss we do not understand, and the dissonance that rings, cavernous in our being, wondering why we feel so cramped, when space is infinite.

So I began to pull on the threads that were making themselves known in the pressure cooker I found myself in at home. Subtle imbalances became a giant wobble, the spinning top too heavy to stop- it was carried by a momentum, a cleansing water that left the ship’s captain to abandon all effort, and let the wheel spin unmanned. And each time the storm passed, and the ship floated peacefully, held by a sea of endless calm, The only sign that a storm had ever been through, was that everything had changed for those on board. Rose invited a new layer of softness, to see the initiations of my life were never failings, but in service to my own blossoming, they also showed me where I had gone against my own heart, and supported my ability to stand in my truth and power with resilience.

Just before the session, I saw myself floating in a stream, but strapped to a raft. It was quite amusing to see the heavy expectation on myself to trust and surrender, when completely constricted by force. My womb was aching, extremely tender. The session itself was one of profound visions. In one of them, I stand on a cliffs edge, with a dark, ominous mist lurking behind. I am naked, preparing to take flight. But first, I turn to face the darkness that lurks behind me. I cannot fly until I face it. Time shifts- I can see in slow motion the power I exert in looping time as I move the mist away with mighty force, by throwing energy, by screaming like a banshee, propelling sound waves of dynamic power, until the mist falls back, and then I turn to take flight.

Each time, I leap, but something inevitably occurs, there is a tether where I believe I cannot fly, that I am not free.

Each time I fall, I am carried back by a bird to the cliffs edge. But after a few times, it changes- at the cliffs edge appears a radiant being, it is me. Holy. Elven. “A shining one” the whispers say. My cloak dances in the wind, my hair swirls around my face in picturesque beauty. I am carrying a large glowing sphere of light and compassionately kneel to the ground, placing the sphere and then my hands upon the earth.

From it, light and plants and flowers blossom in trails n every direction, within the land itself. The earth Glows so brightly that shards of light shoot upward and dissolve the mist - it does not return, it does not leave, it simply dissolves. The flowers and greenery are everywhere, the landscape entirely changed. I turn to the endless expanse at the edge, leap, and take flight. All that remains is a single white feather that dances and swirls, carried by the wind.

I am told there is a temple that awaits, to enter through my heart if I wish. A golden temple appears before me, water cascading alongside the steps. I wash my hands in the flowing water as I ascend. Within the temple is a magnificent tree, which I am guided to touch. As I place my hands upon it, I receive an ancient stone/crystal imbued with codes and wisdom impossible to describe. I begin dancing - it feels vital, vibrant, tantric, it is creation in flow. Suddenly I have dissolved, but all at once have spread throughout the earth, as though I’ve become the waterways, the leylines. I have become no thing, and yet I am all, all at once. And from all I am, everything can spring. I am pulled gently into the roots of a dazzling sunflower, bathed in radiant beams of sunlight. As the session finishes, there are fields of sunflowers as far as I can see.

Immediately after the session, I was incredibly blissful. I went to watch the sunrise, and aurora colours blanketed the sky as a thick mist was burned away by the light of the sun. In the days after the session, I experienced the same pains that I did after giving birth to my children, which often occurs for me after a huge transformation. But rose had a multilayered, multifaceted journey for me, layer after layer calling for rebalancing and forgiveness that is impossible to detail here. But this understanding that I needn’t force, that I already am all I long for, did not match my waking life. In my family I burdened myself, wilting away, instead of commanding with loving presence, and taking up space.

While considering how to articulate my experience, I came face to face with how in my daily life, I felt the need to prove my worth. That I wanted to be impactful, to be of use. That I wanted others to have the experience rose had offered me. I pulled from her, picked her apart, I tried to understand and contain her magic neatly and perfectly. But I was not living the wisdom I had found.

I had manipulated her.

And the thorns, again in service, showed me my own contradictions, reflecting our collective distortion, control, manipulation, silencing and shunning of the feminine through the ages.

But if I have learned one thing, from this powerful ally, it is that her power, her secrets, her wisdom will not be lost, controlled or tamed. Her depth of ancient knowings, will not be overlooked. She is well practiced in creating timing - creating everything from nothing including the potential for others to receive in the flow of divine timing, and doing it not for fame or accolades, but because she is the embodiment of the loving truth- that we, as humans, are creational beings. That we have unfathomable power to transform, to command the conditions for beauty and bliss to bless the earth and create an entirely new way of being.


My name is Ana. I’m originally from Romania and I currently live in England. My life completely changed around 4 years ago when I went through a life crisis where everything that I ever knew crumbled in front of my eyes. Ever since I’ve started to work on myself on a deeper level by doing sacred plant medicine, healing and body work, reading all the spiritual books I could get my hands on. I’ve trained in energy healing, but recently felt the calling to train as a Avalon Rose Priestess.

I came across Andy’s work through a friend. By looking at his website I felt the authenticity behind his work and also I felt a sense of peace and communion with nature and the natural world. I have a strong connection with nature and I felt a strong calling towards finding out more about his work with plant allies.

Before the session there was a lot going on in my inner and outer realms. I noticed there was an inner conflict going forth and back between the head and the heart. I felt a sense of not doing what “I’m supposed to do” like wasting my time in a 3D job instead of being in service and sharing my gifts with those in need. And yet every time that I wanted to practice the healing modalities I’ve trained in, it just didn’t felt right. I find myself going back and forth between wanting to quit my job and then worrying about how I’m going to be able to meet my family needs without a job.

I’ve also felt a strong connection with Mother Mary and the Ancient Mother – I had moments where I could feel how loved and supported I am all the time by the Mother energies.

My inner guidance and intuition pushed me towards crystal singing bowls, tuning into high vibrational frequencies and balancing my physical, mental, emotional and psychic bodies. I’ve been listening a lot to online journeys and also practiced with my own crystals bowls. This helped me balance the fast energies that were continuously shifting and changing.

As an empath I am sensitive to energies around me from people, environment, the collective and electronic devices. Part of my mission is to transmute these energies and to learn not to attach myself to them. Closer to the full moon and the healing session I noticed mood swings, emotional imbalances - going from being in a happy place into experiencing overwhelming emotions that triggered old patterns of unhealthy coping and sweeping under the carpet mechanisms. The shadow made itself known. After that I went into a negative cycle of feeling guilty, shame and critical towards myself for not being strong enough or learn how to deal with my emotions in a healthy way.

I had strong dreams where the mother line and energies were strongly present from Egyptian lines like Hathor, Sekhmet and Isis and the Essene lineage Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene.

I found myself not getting much sleep or being wide awake just before the sun rises around 4 to 5 o’clock. This made me feel tired and throughout the day I was drawn to lay my whole body on the earth and allow my body to recharge under the sun energies. This could happen only for 10-15 minutes and felt completely regenerated and full of energy afterwards.

Before the session I also felt the call to go within and just Be with myself. My next door neighbours moved in recently, they have 2 small children I think around 5 and 7 years old. There was a lot of crying and screaming from the 5 years old boy who might have autism and doesn’t talk much. The way he expresses himself is through screaming and crying. Although I was trying to be compassionate towards him I found this situation very annoying. I associated this energy to my childhood where I felt unsafe to express myself and shut down my creative expression.

I also had a big argument with my teenage daughter after I asked for help with house chores. I noticed myself moving from struggling to asking for help, then not being listened to and moving from anger into feeling powerless. As a result of that I just wanted to withdraw, hide and going into escape mode.

I also noticed a pattern just before the session (this happened in the previous session too) I went into “doing mode” all of a sudden I remembered that I had so many practical things to do … when I connected with this feeling I noticed that this was related to an inability to sit my own emotions, almost like an escaping and coping mechanism. The way I was brought up by my family was through “doing” all the time, loads of physical work and mostly connected with nature and land. There was very little time for “being” and emotions were hugely repressed and pushed down within the whole family. We had plenty of external abundance from the fruits of the land but the inner world was screaming of emotional poverty.

At the beginning of the actual session, I struggled to let go of control there was something dark like over me. A sense of dark blue ocean. I heard “this once was the promised land now it became the never land of lost souls”. Although I wasn’t sure why I was transported there It gave me a sense of trapped souls waiting to go into the light.

There were a lot of energies moving around the right side of my legs my whole spine was tingling, I kept worrying is the session over? I wasn’t listening to the playlist so wasn’t aware of timing. What was going on underneath was an inner struggle to let go of control and fully surrender.

My heart was aching. My chest felt tight. As the amour was slowly falling away the tears were flowing. I hug someone and said I’ve missed you so much, I don’t know who it is though. I feel and hear unprocessed emotions being released. Emotional flow was restored around my heart and stomach area. And then I drift into a completely dream flow like it’s melting. I finally Fully surrender.

I’m in a time where my daughter is called Victoria. She’s very powerful and she pushed me away. She gave herself to the dark forces and died from a sexual disease. She came back now. I hear you must restore the heart connection that you have with your daughter. We both needed it to heal each other and our wounds.

I connect with my higher self. I recognise and remember my higher self - it’s like a friendly tingling and warming energy. I wish I could see it. Mother Mary comes. She says that I was there when Jesus was crucified. I was one of the Mary’s. Mary of Salome and Bartholomew. From there Angels and magical beings are teaching me showing me to open my heart through gratitude and appreciation and then from my open heart divine energies flowing through me radiate externally to heal others. My mission has to do with facilitating healing for myself and others. I resist this path as the mind gets in the way. No wonder why the music I chose for the session was binaural sound crystal healing to balance the two Brains. Some kind of clearing of conditioning and de-programming happens. A lot of activity in my head and crown chakra. I asked my crown chakra to be opened and energies were just flowing through.

There is something in my throat and I’m coughing stuff out of my throat chakra. The session ends. I feel beyond grateful and in a dream like state. It’s almost like walking on clouds. My whole body and being is filled with unconditional love and gratitude towards Andy and my spirit guides and protectors that assisted me throughout the session.

When Andy let us know that we worked with the spirit of the Rose I was amazed! A change in session timing meant that three days later I had my Avalon Rose Priestess initiation ceremony. It seemed that faith and divine timing were in sync for the whole process.

The healing process continued for days after the session, there was a sense of sadness and grieving an older part of myself. A strong dream the day after came with a past life where I was killed while I was running away with my two children on an ancient road, I couldn’t feel any pain. I could sense that I was passing over and before that I witnessed how people were just falling asleep all of a sudden on this road. I wasn’t sure if it was a mass sleeping, people were just dropping suddenly on the road or perhaps they were dying.

The night before the Avalon Rose Priestess Ceremony I tuned in and felt surrender into the wisdom of your heart”…there is nothing else to do or worry about. That night I had a dream where fire and water were weaving their energies together. At the ceremony we were initiated by a Water and Fire Priestesses.

The ceremony day I just surrendered and felt such a moving sacred force within my being, what came to my awareness was that the real “power” does not come from the old patriarchal ways of taking without asking or abusing the power over others …. real “power” lies within oneself when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to open and soften our hearts to give and receive, to be a channel for divine energies to flow through or “just be” in its simplicity.

I come from a very religious orthodox family and I have various members of my family from both my father and mother line, placed high within the hierarchical religious system. What came to me on the ceremony day was that the old ways of the “priesthood” within my family has been misused and abused over the years. I felt strongly that my role as an Avalon Rose Priestess is to restore that balance within the divine masculine and divine feminine not only within my family but the world as well. I felt that I carry the medicine of the heart – its gentleness and purity that came from alchemising the wounds of different types of abuse. As a woman, I carried the abuse wound into this lifetime from other lifetimes that were inflicted mostly by the patriarchal culture. This is the lifetime where my soul has the chance to heal and restore balance into those roles of victim and also perpetrator. I feel that we all played all kind of roles from the abuser, the victim or the observer in different lifetimes and across other dimensions and came back to learn and complete our unfinished business.

The Rose path is not about feminism or about women being superior to men. The rose path is about restoring that balance within the divine masculine and divine feminine within all of us and creating the sacred union within, the alchemical marriage. When I came back from the ceremony my garden was in full rose blossom from pink, red and white. I felt that was the Rose’s sacred way of communicating the language of love and unity within. I’ve also noticed that after the Avalon Rose initiation, the energies were guiding me in the direction of helping others and towards compassionate action.

After the healing session I felt drawn to read the book Anna the Grandmother of Jesus by Claire Heartsong. This is a channeled book about the Holy family and the Essene community. as I started reading it, I couldn’t put it down and ended up finishing in a couple of days. when I finished the book I had this sense that a fragment of my soul came back into its original place and felt a sense of inner peace being restored. Walking the path of the heart and Remembering the ways of my heart and soul.


My body feels like dissolving into colorful little particles, or ants, kind of an organized chaos. Then it gets very heavy and I feel like sinking into moss, into a cool green forest floor. I feel the strain of the last weeks on my body, on my heart, how it’s weak and full of scars and wounds. There is a scent of pollen and essences in the air and I know i am treated in the hospital do floresta. I relax and let myself sink in. I feel the frequency of the music quite differently today. Then suddenly my body turns into only arms. Like gigantic arms. I can’t breathe anymore and I’m on the edge of panicking but I know the only way out is through. I cry it’s so heavy and terrifying but I breathe myself through. The next song comes and I’m free again. Now I’m on that horse racing over the plains of Mongolia I cry even more now out of relief. The horse takes me to our circle. I get a crystal gift very colorful like in the beginning. Then I suddenly feel that i‘m still wounded. My heart is bleeding, I have been shot or stabbed. I lay down and feel the heaviness of our bodies being mortal. The horse stays with me and then guides me into a white cave. On the other side of that cave we reach the lake of the spirit forest. I am home! I cry even more, I float in the lake and the Forest spirit comes and heals my wounds. Next song is blue. I‘m also blue and floating through ether, meeting Kali. She says it’s time. We have work to do. She shows me dances and that our arms are not just arms. We have to discover how else to use them. I‘m very tired. My body is very tired. The rest of the session I’m drifting into the blue. I‘m suddenly surprised that the session is over already. Completely out of time. Very much healing. Grateful and still crying.


Sweet, soft. warm light. From the beginning to the end. Before pressing play I feel my belly becoming liquid. I can see people and beings that are in this space very clearly. Like I can touch. First song quite physical. Left side of my body tingling. My throat lifting up. Truth. My chest opens up. My head goes into my neck. Like Something pulling me up. Strings of 'dark' leaving from my chest. I see my uterus there is Something inside that shouldn't be there. I ask the spirit if we can clean it. I feel my whole uterus, pelvic area being flooded with warm light. Cleansed.purified. Comfortable feeling. I see myself laying dead on the floor. I have wings. I got shot. I feel bit scared but very peaceful at same time. I feel other approaching. They wrap there wings around me. Breathe me back to life. I feel home. I know that I belong here/there. I slowly stand up spreading my wings carefully..deep cracks in my spine and ankles. Opening in my diaphragm. Feels like I never breathed before. My body feels like it is made out of honey. Liquid. Limitless. Soft and strong. Powerful. I am in an empty perfectly lighted endless space for the rest of the session. Pure bliss. In body and out of body at same time. My hands open. My fingers spread. Light radiating out and in at same time. So much light. But for the first time it somehow feels perfectly comfortable. I understand it is my own light. I get shown an empty canvas. Way more things happen. All just so pure and beautiful. Towards the end I see the eagle. So clear. I can see every feather. I could touch her if I could move. She speaks to me. She tells me I can go with her anytime. Deep feeling of humbleness. So incredible beautiful. Home. Peaceful. Warm.


I felt so much in my hands, heavy palms and nervous, electrified fingers, later I would feel like someone was trying to hold my right hand, the same hand I had nerve pain in the day before. My mind was racing for the first ten minutes, people I’ve sought forgiveness from, an accident I had in my childhood and the ramifications of that - my thoughts slowed down when I realised my physical sensations were trying to communicate. I felt tickling and itching on my arms and backs of my knees and neck and then the heavy feeling in my stomach kicked in, tears came and pains I’ve been suffering heightened, I had a thought “only you can release this” and then I was taken into a tranquil space where my body relaxed totally and my mind switched off.. flashes of light surrounded me, somebody trying to hold my right hand and then a bright light like the sun was coming up. I felt like I was standing upright and strong in the morning sun: Blissed out afterwards but quite emotional.


The spirit of the plant tells me not to switch roles, that she is facilitating me, not the opposite. She also says, "everything is always perfect Anaïs" . So I relax. I feel slightly fearful, without knowing why. I have glimpses of many things but nothing that stays. Police sticks. Horse. Midwifes. ... Suddenly my cat breaks in the space (for real). It creates noise and fear in my system and trust also. I am afraid for the safety of my children who are alone in another space. The cat comes to my legs and she push hard and with focus on one of my bone. I tell myself the shaman is here. In French a cat is "Sha" (written chat). So I let the Shaman work on my legs and bring some weight, some ground to my being. I think I fall asleep. Time seems very very long. I have the impression some stuffs are being re-stored in me (like engrammed in another way). I am awakened by a bell (I did not listen to the music). I feel a sense of timelessness. I am slightly floating. .
Thank you Lindsay and Ana for your open-heart sharing and true expression and for further revealing the orchestra of life which brings together so many synchronous events in this magnificient living masterpiece.

Thank you to the others whose written sharings are openly offered here also.

Thank you dear Rose, mistress of emotions, healer of heart, friend in spirit and in nature, for imparting your wisdom and for opening my own heart to the sweet fragrance that can be forever found in every moment, when all that might circle many minds is a crown of thorns.