master of the plants

~ smoke king ~
episode 10

"Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder."

– Rumi

Tribal lands, their boundaries marked between, nature points like a great ravine. Agreements made by the twelve elders of the tribes, free from power games, corruption and bribes. Laws should be sacred, governance respected, people and their environment together protected. But the only constant in life is change, so sometimes what's been agreed one needs to rearrange. For those who don't in truth sit, breaking of rules they often commit. Furious shouts, anger wild, war painting up all but child. Bows drawn, arrows they fly, bodies fall and people die. This repeating trend that many have seen, offers little hope to intervene. Imaginary lines dividing differing views, often forgets the same Earth we all choose.

In the West, Tobacco's reputation has been sadly corrupted, it’s gift for humanity certainly disrupted. it’s a powerful plant, demanding of respect, smoking without intention what do you expect. Smoke and prayer should always come together, words of wisdom from chief with head feather.

Who is this man from a European land, who speaks of Tobacco without mapacho in hand. It’s a master plant, sacred knowledge reserved, passed down by generations that’s how it’s preserved. Blow smoke onto the crown of his head, clearing his mind from all that’s here said.

Your offerings to the Fire, from which direction should I start, my altar is bare, the ceremony’s in my heart. Yes, I come from another continent, but we were birthed from the same mother, underneath it all perhaps we’re no different from one another. Maybe indigenous is a birth rite for all, learning to love Earth wherever we fall.

My people once spoke with nature too, burned at the stake for all that they knew. Some believed this knowledge should be kept from people, under the control of church and steeple. I’ve Seen the conquerors landing on your lands, their boats arriving in force on your great white sands. These vicious crimes against humanity, carried out by Wetiko insanity. I’ve cried many tears for these wicked ways, but my heart now beats with the changing of days.

I’m a family friend, black nightshade opened the door, taught me some lessons, but knew I needed to know more. I was brought to Tobacco, told Earth’s hollow, but maybe that’s a difficult one for others to swallow. He whispered this is where the gods reside, journey to meet them not out but inside. Whilst all roads might lead to Rome, its within your heart you’ll always find home. So to my heart that’s where I headed, united with knowledge with which I wedded. Meeting with gods whose names have been told and doing it all without a cigarette rolled. Taking seat with true spirit form and it's from this place this medicine was born.

Respect all approaches, for there are many pathways to the heart, but walking your own, now that’s a true art. Ask for little and with abundance everything pours, but before grabbing what’s in front of you, perhaps take a moment to pause. For too long too many have been taking without giving, no laying of Tobacco before the willing to go unliving. Cutting down the forests, circular breathing forgotten, no resounding flutes, indigenous downtrodden.

Emotions rising, not wanting to shout, opening of mouth but then curse words shoot out. This deeply inflamed and vocal production, traumatising Earth like a volcanic eruption. Lost behind those eyes, no sparkling gaze, heart closed for business, no open days.

Bringer of brotherhood and council Fire, Spiritual relationship with Earth is Tobacco's desire. But those rarely content with simple things, a hungry appetite this naturally brings. Feasting and binging on whatever they can take, but they'll soon learn this is a big mistake. Gut overwhelmed, natural instinct gone, unable to digest all that's now wrong. Forgive my people for so many do not know what they do, they now rely on fact-checkers to tell them what is true. Easily led away by those led astray, don't question our rules, just do as we say. Choking humanity by passing more laws, creating reasons to add in new clause. These rule makers, their own rule breakers, now watch the uprising of the rule haters.

But some rules and laws truly can serve, for varying levels of consciousness here on Earth we observe. So how to come together and find common ground, to coexist peacefully with all that's around.

Dear friend, the build up of anger sitting in gut, stress slamming the door to the heart shut, It's time to let go, else we let things to continue, take a deep belly breath and exhale what’s within you. Sometimes our truth calls out to be spoken, but by swallowing it down lies inside broken. For the throat, our centre of true expression, silenced for generations by the great repression.

Tobacco, extract from gut, acid words and scenes shouted and swallowed, history no longer repeating, a new path now followed. Warm Fireside feet meeting Earth floor, bringing back balance and re-opening the door. For many it's a long forgotten feeling, the Achilles heel of human healing. For the body is a temple, sacred pillars restored, true human being, innate nature explored.

To all the wisdom keepers and earth protectors, another web’s available, our hearts the connectors. Those who now walk amongst us in same skin, many have forgotten those pathways within. Perhaps they are now bound for another place, a visible split in the human race. Science calls it speciation when a species separates, we each respond to life differently and so our fate awaits. But everything’s always perfect, lessons learned at different speeds, separation can be powerful, for division it breeds. It's time to let go, it's time to make peace, it's time to love and it's time to release.

These are my own insights, but a great beauty of life is that of perspective, so how might others respond to the spirit of Tobacco, unbeknownst to this being the spirit they are receiving. How might they perceive it through their six senses. And when Fire and Earth come together for gut healing, the heart speaks clearly with true gut feeling.

In alignment with the twelve elders of the tribes, this podcast brings forward sharing from twelve members of the group who experienced this medicine of Tobacco.

* some participant names might have been changed for pen names.
* no participants were informed that it was the spirit of Tobacco we were working with until after they had all shared their experience of the Session.

Elu

The time with Tobacco and the Session showed me so viscerally what I’ve been already blessed to learn from this plant. Not only have I’ve been smoking cigarettes when I was younger but also I learned why I was smoking it and how I was abusing actually the power of this plant. But to disentangle from this kind of conundrum, was only possible by realizing how I was using it to dimm down push away or diminish my life force in order to deal with the overwhelm of having so much of it.

What I learned of living in the Amazon for a while and working with Mapacho the tobacco there, how it actually purifies, how it’s used for protection, for alignment and how interesting then to look to our western world and our rampant abuse of this plant,. But maybe just still because somehow we still carry a residue of memory of the true purpose of this plant.

Thinking of the Lakota People and their sacred pipe. How tobacco is the conduit of so many prayers. In the Amazon it’s called the King of Plants, seen as the Bridge to actually communicate commune with other plants, commune and connect with the spirit realm.

And then my father dying earlier this year of lung cancer after of how many years of using tobacco to dim down his life force, not allowing feelings to surface or express. The weeks before the session was then very very strong, cause I was oscillating between my capacity of feeling and sensing going way beyond my usual limits, what a relief, and yet bouncing back into contraction into numbness and isolation.

Obviously I wasn't aware before the session what kind of plant we’re meeting, but it felt so intimately familiar. I knew I know this plant very well and in the session itself, what was really strong during the weeks before, wasn’t really reflected it was very subtle almost like I don’t know what’s happening. The only thing that stuck out was when I saw brown leaves blossoming along my spine and kind of folding back into a white sheet of paper which then looked like a cigarette. Which then felt so clearly revealing itself to me like: Look it’s me! It’s tobacco!

And that made so much sense with everything that happened before, but also with everything that has been happening this year neatly orchestrated along being with my father dying of so called lung cancer. It was just the plant that was missing to come full circle..

Lindsay

Purge and wash clean. Expand into the silence.

In the years prior, I’d gone through a phase of torrentially yelling my grief out, thunderous in my righteousness of how wronged I’d been. Greed, and power had been misused, justifications to temper the abused.

Tobacco showed a path where grief could be felt and power could be reclaimed in respectful and honouring pathways. This master of presence showed I must release the old judgmental, blaming and presumptive ways. Resistance unravelled- I launched my business, I unshouldered my “should dos”, I held space for others, I stepped out from hiding. I strengthened my body, i lay face down on the earth for long stretches of time, i reorganised where I was pouring my energy. I connected deeply with the resonance of sound. I attuned to the silence beyond sound, the silence of the silence. I danced freely for the first time in decades. I no longer fixed but let others be free, which, in turn allowed a liberation within me.

With tobacco, I have travelled to the womb of the Earth, I have poured the blood of my own womb upon her hallowed ground. I lovingly placed flowers in the sea, and saw them squashed by boats blowing smog into the air. I watched the sun rays be interfered with most days. I feel sorrow for the way we’ve built into land. I feel sorrow for the LOCK and key governing choice.

I feel sorrow for the eyes that look upon me, feeling so much turmoil at what I see. I feel sorrow for those seeking connection, accepting disappointment swathed in synthetic substitutes.
I feel.
I feel.
I feel.
By my own hand, I will heal this body and thereby this land. I will contribute what I can.

Healing. We are all of us, healing. And tobacco offered a loving bridge of transmutation- that my suppressed toxins and grief could be transformed into smoke to float out of body, clearing magnificent, exquisite space. For bellows of heart and presence to echo out from where I come from.

Tears and retches, body purges and stillness. And then a great reverberating peace. Atrocities not undone, but unplugged from. My children too, acutely felt the medicine.

I watched and waited, wondering “now what have I done to you, too?” But the way I moved through this experience, was not by judgement and blame, guilt or shame. It was by dropping all of those things, realising, at one level, we are all the same.

I relinquish my grief, I lay it all down, I let the resistance pass through me, I become no sound. What speaks, louder than words? What cries louder than tears? What echoes loudest in the expanse of space?

Presence.

Daisy

We do not have to accept the way it is - I realised that this Spirit supports us to make the paradigm shifts needed. Powerful Medicine. Structures needing to change. I was asked to watch my step and claim my space. I will not be pushed around.

Wow and then during the session, it was a full on purge. The most physical experience I have had so far with these sessions. Heat, 3rd eye activation and Throat constriction. Then Retching and Retching and burping. Let it all out. Itchy body. Whatever it is holding me back- let it out. All the time with my feet firmly on the ground. At one point a strong image of me being cut open from navel to throat facilitating the expansion of my Heart. More retching. Raw Throat and then finally Calm.

I close my eyes and I am kneeling at a golden pyramid and then cleansed by a waterfall in lush green nature. Wow.

In the days after a feeling of speedy energy, insecurities and wobbles. Then going deep within and knowing I can only flow from my Heart. I am who I am, doing my best. Come join me or not. My choice is clear.

Gratitude to Tobacco Spirit. Gratitude to Andy. Gratitude to all that participated. Aho..

Selva

My journey with the Tobacco spirit has been a time of introspection and awareness, especially in witnessing dynamics between male and female : inside of myself, what I have been replaying from my root family and also in general in the world. I have a deeper understanding of patterns now, which is great as it opens the possibility for change. It was not always easy and for sure not pleasant, but very rewarding.

I’m still experiencing a huge opening and expansion of the heart space and the liberation into truth : my own truth. I feel the spark for adventures and play. And then again, like a crazy 8, extreme contraction – the awareness of limitations and conditionings, painful, fearful, protective and familiar.

The experience of the session itself was completely in black and white for me. And the essential message was – rest, heal, trust. Forget the hurts, forget the past. Relax and don’t worry so much, move up and remember who you are.

There is a bigger picture, get ready : Male and female will be in union again. A whole new range of frequencies and vibrations will open up for us and we are the ones to access them and bring them down to earth.

During all those weeks oscillating between extreme emotions I felt held and supported. Tobacco has helped me to embrace the blessing and the curse of feeling so much, no matter in which direction, no matter if black or white, pleasant or unpleasant. Everything will ever change again. Tobacco has handed me the pipe to make peace. Gratidão.

Tau

A week before the session, I had been holding the little metal box in my hand, where I stored the sniff tobacco I had made in the amazonian forest with the Yawanawa. Since I had it, rarely felt drawn to using it, and I felt now It was time to donate it to someone who can make use of it. I wrote a shoutout for that in a like-minded Telegramgroup. Around the same time, my body started itching. I never had quite such a strong itch before in my life, a red rash started to spread out across my neck and hips and thighs like small red bubbles from a second grade burn. I was a bit terrified at first and messaged Andy - he said to trust the process and this is the heat moving out the body. As he further explained, originating from unreleased anger perhaps. The next morning the rash had shrieked down to about 10% the size It had been the night before. In the evening though, it appeared again and the positions moved to various places across my entire body, some really eery places like between the toes and. My period had arrived the day before, and in the night I woke up from the pain in my lower body. The pain was so strong that I could not get up or even grab my phone for perhaps half an hour - it felt endless. When I went to the toilet I almost fainted, I could not sit up straight. Crawled back to bed, and anticipated calling the emergency line. Tried to get back to toilet because my intestines needed to release, yet it felt like a knife stuck in there. Once I was able to grab pain killers the pain got numb. Next day I continued pain killers, and my period stopped on the third day, which is very unusual. The itching rash came also back next evening, but at that point I trusted it, and I thought about the many times when during ceremonies scenes appeared in front of my inner eye, showing the situation of being burned at a stake, wondering if this was perhaps enabling a deeper release.

The day of the ceremony, I had a sudden strong feeling about the colour green, as if the path towards the future I want to be in, had been condensed into this spectral field - like a key to a door. I had spent some hours feeling into it, along with a quality of thought that I could perhaps refer to as- stepping towards commitment - and meanwhile, putting the puzzle pieces together that I had gathered since years. Perhaps, acknowledging them as pieces of a puzzle that now felt like a place where one could arrive at, and “own”. I had also a bit more ringing in my ears than usual, since I have this frequently I don’t give this so much attention.

A slow building yet almost ecstatic feeling the hours before the session. Joyful opening of the heart. When I lie down, my heart almost races due to a sense of gratitude and excitement as if pervading the air. A green dragon with bright purpleish eyes and a long tail flying into me. Beautiful feelings, as if angels with flexible forms and multiple body extremities are caressing me. A kind of dance, but they are moving through me and I can see the etheric “bodies” (more like water bodies) of these unknown kindred entities, glittering. My throat and chest opening and within purple stones receiving energy of the dragon eyes from the start. I sense the vibration heightening so strongly, and so much beautiful sensations that my mind comes in - I start to get confused. Some images appear that are bizarre yet also have some kind of beauty in them. The trope is: being part of nature but also being human, nature being beautiful but also brutal. It feels like there is a spirit wanting to show me, that the deeper I let go and allow myself being part of nature, the more extatic feelings I receive. I feel more and more trapped in unease. This topic is one that I am on a deeper level grappling with, as it has occurred to be present on an ancestral level. The scenes switch to some vague memories of my childhood room. I am eventually guided through a corridor, where I am told we are going to meet my child self. I am eager but the tension also rises, brings me to tears. When I meet her she looks like frozen, shut down, at the window. I take my palms around her head. I am somehow told - and I have no idea why - to tell her, that no love is ever in vain. No feeling of love is ever wrong. I repeat it several times, a strong feeling through my body. I feel how Energy moves through me, it feels like something unblocks. She starts suddenly screaming and freaking out. I sense that I must affirm her. From there lots of stuff happening regarding resurrecting memories which is all somehow powerful and a bit overwhelming also. Deep and dark corners of my consciousness were triggered, this was the first time I found it a bit hard to come back to consciousness.

After, I felt like Tobacco has understood where I am at right now and feels like an ally to my current moment of transition. I feel like I am still working on this kind of “contract” or commitment to myself, which feels closely tied to the world I am in. It feels like an acknowledging of the complexities I am in, and also like an acknowledging of my boundaries shifting. Andy spoke of tectonic plates shifting. I feel like it's still ongoing, my body still feels quite tight in general from this undertaking.

Maike

the pulse of the earth in my bones. the whispers of the wind in my breath. the flow of water in my blood. a fire burning inside my heart. a fire that burns for life itself. energies flowing freely. freely flowing on the current of life. life flowing through me. around me. gently wrapping me up in a coat of warm shimmering golden light. a light that always shines. being in balance. knowing when to act and knowing when to rest. knowing when to be active and knowing when to be passive. sitting in silence. listening to the whispers of the earth. my bones realigning. my cells recalibrating. softening. softening into being. softening towards life. opening towards love. knowing there is magic to happen. . thank you tobacco. thank you for teaching me. teaching me about the art of loving. about the art of living. living in a way that is aligned with nature. living in a way that is aligned with spirit. thank you tobacco for teaching me about humility. about humbleness and respect. respect for myself. and respect for others. respect for nature. and respect for all that there is. thank you for holding my hand while digging deep into the darkness. thank you for showing me the way down and the way up. for showing me that the way up is the way down and the way down is the way up. thank you for showing me that the way out is the way in and the way in is the way out. thank you for teaching me how to feel comfortable in my own depth. thank you for showing me that i can pull on the strings of my life. that i have a choice. thank you for reconnecting me with my creative energy. for inspiring me. thank you for accompanying me on the way home. to source. thank you for showing me that i am supported, held and guided in endless ways. thank you for showing me that i belong. thank you tobacco. and thank you andy. thank you andy for opening this space and sharing this medicine.

Miri

The last few weeks have been of incredible importance to my life. I have experienced so many changes on so many levels, so dramatic, that my mind has a very hard time keeping up with it all, with the depth of it, with the speed of it, with the experience. And I think that's a very good sign because the way I experience life is totally different with the mind being forced to step out of the way and the heart making the choices, despite the mind telling different fearful stories. I can see how infinitely powerful intention is, especially when it comes from the heart, that we truly create in this world and in the manifested forms when we make choices from the heart. I can feel the truth in everything being one. I can feel the transcendence, the unmanifested universal flow of all that is, and I can feel that animate all of the countless manifested individuated forms that it takes. I can feel how my body is releasing very old things that are stored in my system, how my system that has constantly been in fight or flight is creating space for life to flow through. And this is the most incredible experience I have ever had so far. I have so much energy running through my system that I only sleep a few hours at night and I'm surprisingly fit in the morning. I have to move a lot to just be able to handle it all. It's a state that feels like being ignited and very expansive. Then there are contractions again that are also not easy to handle. And I can see that this is the physical making space for the expansion and for life. Over the last few months I've witnessed myself speaking spontaneous prayers that I didn't know I had within me, and they were all for the same thing. It was to become transparent and to be a vessel. And I think those prayers have been heard.

Donna

I felt early on…like a stick stirring up the silt at the bottom of a river, the medicine stirring up the old fears and the ego self, that lay quietly at the bottom of my being. These egoic fears moving rapidly throughout my body, hitting me all over like a pin ball machine. Showing me a continual experience of duality – feeling not valuable worthy and good enough, and consciously trying to move into I AM valuable, worthy and good enough. Feeling the fire rising within me, for me and through me. It is exposing me to - knowing and confusion, holding on and letting go, resistance and surrender, comparison and acceptance, separation and oneness, annoyance and gratitude, and the principal duality of all…love and fear. As I consciously experience these dualities, I feel them in every thought and feeling, appearing in some way shape or form. I search for a solution. A friend tells me, “Sometimes it’s not to find the solution, but to keep walking through the fire.” Some days, I thought about turning back, such is the sway of the ego. I hear a particular line in a Martin Luther King quote, “if you can’t walk crawl, but by all means keep moving.” So, I did. This challenge, calling me to strengthen from the inside out.

I am physically sick. I cannot remember the last time I was sick. My body responding to the disturbances of the old, the medicine and illness, cleansing and restoring balance. My body also full of heat at night, eyes sore, irritated and red, pain in the midline torso throughout the medicine. A couple of times, I also smelt smoke in my home…and then thought, how can that be? Where would it be coming from?

A dream – I have changed – I am in a hurry to find who I’ve been. They are pregnant and I need them to give birth. I find them, they are not willing to give birth. I make them unconscious. I cut through the outer walls. I move them to a safe place and then the dream stops. In the session, a couple of days later, the dream restarts at this point. As I open, the opening, to birth (what I think is a baby), I see in there a new earth. In these experiences, I felt the verge of death and rebirth – leaving the past behind…transformation, the final cycle.

I see my physical body being burnt away and what is revealed is my soul. It expands, and I am shown the light of my soul encompassing the earth, the healing it is doing, and the work I am here to do. It is a lot! I ask for help; I ask for someone to walk beside me in this.

I turn into a dolphin, and I am swimming in the ocean. The floor of the ocean opens up, and I swim through it, and then, I am in Atlantis! I start to cry, feelings of love and sadness. This was my home, I fought here, I died here, and I see and feel, I am fighting the same battle again today, in this life.

Ailsa

I’ve been working with Andy and the Spirits from the natural world for a long time and together with the group since we began to share sessions and our feedback on this unique experience which I find brings cumulative change in mind and body, growth, development and awareness of self, others and the world around us and beyond.

Often the processes of working through one session meld with the introduction of and preparation for the next and this was strongly the case with Elephant and the current one when I saw Elephant with green foliage entwined along her trunk, not binding her, rather combining with her, bringing their different, complementary energies to help with letting go. As is usual in the lead-up there was rich dream experience, feelings of energy in specific areas of the body in the night, feeling fire, for example. There were visits from a bird of prey who came in large form to carry me away to a safe place during one night.

As the session began I felt positive energy swirling around my body, some vibration in the ears. I saw smoke rising into the sky and new green shoots swaying in the breeze on the earth. The swirling sensation in my body went up to seat itself around neck and shoulders across the throat.

I saw what initially looked like insects in blue and blue and yellow, then realised they were lots of Ukrainian flags. I felt the anguish of the women there, trying to keep their children and themselves safe, many men gone away, all vulnerable within imposed conflict and cruelty. The energy gave small space for empathy but in this context moved very quickly on with an overall sense of calm, and at oneness and balance in body and in mind, a focus then on that state of well being and entering into a peaceful sleep.

With what I then learned was the wisdom and sharing of the Spirit of tobacco, there's been strong ongoing processing in both mind and body a week after the session, cleansing, refining, a splitting and a coming together, a balancing at a different and deeper level, a bringing together following letting go of those things that don't belong now and the benefits of the cumulative effects of those sessions with Spirits shared before..

Marluz

As soon as spirit started to work with me, I noticed that I was much stronger with my senses. A more sensitive touch, better taste, stronger smell, sharper vision and clearer sounds. Beautiful but intense experiences.

It was even that clear that I didn’t had to tune in with plants or animals around me to hear or see what was their message. They simply called me or I new as soon as I looked at them.

Also I experienced dark and bright shapes shifting around me; it has been a while that a saw them. I felt strongly that I was again closer to my nature and source.

It was giving me lots of energy and made me do things I wanted or needed to do already for a long time. It was like taking back the lead of my life. A very pleasant feeling, and without the ego or old believes bothering me all the time. Though there was something that was bothering me much more then I’m used to. The seeing people living or talking superficial. With each other, or even worse; to me. In those situations I felt inside a lot of aggression rising and I really had to speak to myself that I had to stay calm and polite. I didn’t like it of myself, because there was this judgement in that. But I could not think or accept anymore that “it’s their life, their choice”. Also because I felt connection with the black and white; the being divided in two groups. The one of truly knowing and the one of following the herd without thinking for themselves.

This also came back in a dream. I dreamed about the people just following as they were told, in a very high speed and disconnected from their inner truth. We were climbing an enormous mountain to reach a better, lighter life. It was a bit painful to see myself on my own, the only one going slow and aware of what was happening inside and around me. But I had to live this example and trust that the right people for this world would wake up and follow by their time.

In the sharing space I didn’t feel alone anymore. I felt nurtured by reading the experiences of others and sharing mine. Again there was so much similarity. Everyone experienced things in their own order, but most of it came back to every single one of us. This is for me so special and powerful.

I recognised not only the things that gave me power or something positive. I also had allergies showing up, had moments with strong anger, fear, disappointment and other heavy feelings. But it was every time softening after sharing or reading others. Amazing to carry and do this together. All on our own but deeply connected. Tobacco brought me a lot of trust, love and strength. Life gives us always an other change, a resit, to break patterns and to live our life’s with love and trust. Thank you tobacco, thank you Andy and thank you dear group.

Ulrike

During this journey with the spirit of tobacco I was accompanying my old and sick parents for 2 weeks in Germany - especially my father was in strong physical and emotional pain and fears. Confronted with preparing himself for the last transition. In the first days I had moments where I felt it somehow hard to connect to spirit, asking again and again, who are you? Or maybe this way of connection was unusual for me. There were times of feeling blank.

I was also very much involved in taking care, serving the needs of a sick old man and organising support around him. I felt quite clear and guided what and how to do things. I also had incredible moments of unexpected support, slipping through bureaucratic limitations and regulations. Like being visible and invisible at the same time.

This also made part of experiencing a division and/or an oscillating between worlds.

Conversations with my parents of their past and the world situation (Ukraine war) brought me often very close to themes of war, destruction, suffering, loss, abuse of power etc. I felt the epigenetic field very strong, exploring my conditioning and "heritage" in that.

One sharing of my father touched me very deeply - he was verbalising that he many times has and had the feeling, he needed to get up and go home. Even being at home! That was not coming from a confused old man but may be from conditioning as his father was shot in the last days of World War 2 on his way home - he never reached home.

And I know that feeling so deeply as well, til now searching for home in the outside - knowing I only can find it within myself.

This obsession "to go home" created a lot of stress and fight patterns. My father would kill (with words) if someone comes in the way to hold him back from going home - he was recently twice in hospital and even not being in conditions to be at home, he reclaimed his autonomy and left hospital on his own responsibility. My old mother and I then had to deal with taking care of him. It was such a strong male willpower with one fixed intention not regarding anything else around.

I experienced this sharpness, clarity of intention and willpower in both ways - constructive and destructive.

In conversations with my parents I received a lot of information about the male lineage of our family - I didn't need to ask for it, all came by itself. My mother who is English had 2 older brothers (my uncles) who both also were in world War 2 and came quite traumatised back home.

Due to taking care of the needs of my father I spent a lot of time inside (normally I live a lot of my time outside in nature in Alentejo/Portugal). There were few moments I had in the forest. This was magic.... I needed to go barefoot and saw the devas and the elementary beings, I felt so deeply connected with earth and the trees.

Now I remember that a plant was catching my attention - she looked a little like tobacco. For a week or so I went through deep sadness, sometimes without reason, I weeped and cried a lot, which felt like a deep cleansing and healing as I grew up with the information that crying is not welcomed.

Once I was received with that sadness in my mother's arms as her "little" child and she was there and it washed away a lot of moments when she wasn't there in my childhood. That was magic and brought a deep experience in mother - child bonding, even being 62 years old.

The actual session with the spirit tobacco allowed me again to experience the oscillating between the worlds. Starting with weeping and feeling deep sadness, cleansing this and then becoming part of life, nature, being a mushroom, breaking through the earth, connected through a worldwide mycele, witnessing the elementary beings, the fairies and having that deep sense of being part, being whole.

So it felt that tobacco showed me how to work and walk through separation into uniqueness and wholeness. Glimpsing that there is a "world" beyond all concepts, conditioning, believes and even intentions... May be just being blank.....

Ana

Tayta Sayri, Grandfather Tobacco.
Master plant powerful healer and protector.
Energetic cleanser and channel of pure light.
Powerful teacher showing us the old family patterns.
Balancing bringing light into the shadows.
Showing us What it is behind addiction.
A cry for help victim within victims wheels within wheels. Stopping pausing looking within.
When is that I stopped believing?
Breathing?
Living?
Loving?
Dreaming?
Ancestral patterns brought into the surface.
Shining light into the depths of despair.
Help comes when we are open to receive.
Ready to accept, acknowledging the past.
Sending Prayers and blessings to those core wounds.
Tayta Sayri uplifting us moving shifting.
From confusion doubt and procrastination.
This is the time for action.
No more distractions or vacations.
Time to shine our light in the world.
Time for reflection and going inward.
Allowing Clarity to come forward.
Grandfather Tabacco introspective teacher powerful ally to have clearing deep inside sorrows in the heart.
Childhood unmet needs and crying for attention.
Voicing out expressing unspoken thoughts and wishes.
Burdens that are ready to be shared acknowledged and healed.
No more pain, suffering and guilt stored in the gut.
It is time for those silenced to be heard.
It is time for authenticity and self expression.
Birthing projects and heart desires into creation.
Lifting healing and inspiring the collective.
No more sadness sorrow or regret left into the heart.
Clearing protecting and paving the way.
For getting myself out of the old ways.
Offering thanks for their teachings.
Long held now are no longer needed.
Divine masculine loving presence bringer of Sweet clarifying archetypal dreams.
Magical child within sweet Innocence.
Returning eternal heart sweetens and presence.
Softening hard edges embracing forgiving.
Clearing the ways back into the heart.
When love is restored there is no need to remember, the past is left behind.
Light is shining in all places and hidden parts are all brought back together Into the heart
Aho, to all my relations seen and unseen.
Brought forwards by the collective.
Witnessing, seeing, hearing and honouring.
Each others prayers and processes.
Into one journey.
Grandfather Teaching healing clearing.
Tracking each step away from the path.
Directing it back into the heart.
Held, seen and heard by the herd.
Grandfather teaches us to go back to the Earth.
Drinking her sweet nurturing milk.
Healing timelines shining light into the caves of the mind.
Choosing peace, flow and ease.
What is not longer needed is released.
Remembering ancient sacred ways and Dreaming into being new realities and infinite possibilities.
Offering deep gratitude to the spirit of Tobacco, all the participants and to Andy for his guidance and big heart.
Helping us Finding the way back HOME.
Remembering everything is love.
Everything is love.
Everything is love.

Gratitude to the twelve for your trust and sharing of truth.
Gratitude to the spirit of Tobacco whose powerful purge I first felt in the Amazon, but whose wise ways were wondrously whispered to me through these finer lines of communication.
Gratitude to Dominic from Ketsa Music, who experiences these sessions and crafts the music moving through these musings.