the great white one

Far from the future, formless yet forming, children of the sun here reborn in. Reminders of those whose origin long forgotten, been led down dark paths on Earth well trodden. Hairy barbarians, removed from godly ways, still sleeping at sunrise, no morning sun rays.

But the sacred baboon, gathered in troops, worshipping the sun disk, their chanting soon loops. Receiving knowledge, wisdom from the Air, halls of Amenti, such secrets to share. But sense and instinct must first be defined, else lost to the mirrors and illusion confined.

Racing to the top, first to dance with the dawn sun, shifting perspective, a new day has begun. Morning transmission, solar codes glowing, charging of being, vital energy flowing.

Messenger of the gods, with your restorative words, seen as Baboon, but at one with the birds. In your Ibis form you might have made yourself known, but it was through the Baboon that Thoth's presence was shown. Thrice great, shifting paradigms, for the greatest things can happen when we say it three times.

Bull of the baboons, crouched with erection, bloodthirsty lake of fire, its sinful objection. But a show of strength with a manner masterful, sailing through the afterlife, so soul powerful.

The masculine towering over their feminine mate, hostile takeovers, infant hostages they take. Patriarchal rule, certainly raising eyebrows, post-conflict affiliation, bound to arouse. Coercing her in and then maintaining possession, if she strays too far then active displays of aggression. Mental uneasiness, fear of rivalry, unfaithful mistrust that can soon become all fiery. Do as I say and all with be fine, calls for the feminine to fall inline.

Redbum, writing on the door, sign of fertility, sexually ready for sure. Soon attracting male attention, heightened virility, time to herd the females, sharp teeth showing hostility. Guarding her Water from contamination, scenes of over-controlling domination.

Now all hot and bothered and a little worked up, it's time to relax and fill up his cup. For when confrontation is over his harem begins grooming, stroking his silver cape, calmness soon resuming. It takes several females, gathered by his side, gently holding space to return him home inside.

Inner temperature soon rises when Water depleted, but oncotic pressure millimetres of mercury treated. Managing dehydration when Water's hard to uncover, but so soon sipping away, temperature levels recover.

Watering holes and sleeping on cliffs, celebrating the sacred through hieroglyphs. Seated on that soft bottom padding, wise words flow in, welcome knowledge adding.

The Moon and Mercury, Water and Air pressure, pumping of heart, higher mind refresher. Mediator of conscious and unconscious realms, guiding of souls for afterlife overwhelms. Moon medicine man with a crescent above his head, bringing balance to chaos, so the darkness won't spread. For Earth is all part of a cosmic show, that which is above is like that which is below.

Strong upper body and thick hair, lip-smacking and threatening glare. Your adrenal glands, they know how to perform, seated on kidneys to testosterone transform. Steroid producing, man-up or man-down, like a bachelor band all grey and no brown.

So to the spirit of Baboon and your posture of adoration, guardian of sacred truths, eternal life pro creation. True veneration the secret language spoken, staring to the skies, divine feeling re-awoken. Protecting territory, maintaining sacred boundaries, offers up trusted space for re-membering ancient memories. Hear all, and See all, but to put it into words.... an expression of the Sky, that's why God made birds. So scribe away and tell me all that there is, dweller of the soul, where hers meets his.

These are my own insights, but a great beauty of life is that of perspective, so how might others respond to the spirit of Sacred Baboon, unbeknownst to this being the spirit they are receiving. How might they perceive it through their six senses. And like the golden age, all things must come and go, but from the dawn of time those memories still flow.

Once again, I feel in my own body how this work affects me, even though I am thousands of kilometers away. For me, this is one of the strongest proofs that this is real—at least in my reality—because I feel it. Nobody can take this away from me. Nor can I convince myself anymore that this work is not for me. Everything I would say against it would just be an excuse to avoid facing it.

My name is Andreas, and I have primarily worked as a yoga instructor in Portugal over the last few years, offering retreats, holding singing circles, and leading individual classes. My life revolves around exploring my own body and sharing that experience with others. I find the movements of my body, it`s transformations, and the energy both within and around it fascinating.What works for me might also work for others, so I invite them to try it out and guide them along the way. I can just give to others, what I truly experienced by myself. It’s an amazing way of living for me because I want to be an inspiration for myself. I surprise myself and feel high energy when I am authentic in my personality.

I still maintain a strong connection to the world of solar power through a sales profession, something I pursue with the mentality of supporting the planet using the knowledge I gained during my time at university. This profession often allows me to empathize with many people and gain a broader understanding of the world. I even consider myself a "Bridge Person," building bridges for others to enter the world of yoga and prana, the Sanskrit word for life force or energy. Sharing this is new for me because I am usually not revealing much about myself, keeping my world orderly, and sharing my processes only with my closest friends.

During the last session with Plantally, I was traveling through the north of Peru, heading to Ecuador. As I reflect now, I realize that the moment I decided to join the group, the process had already begun for me. I was surrounded by the sun most of the time and felt a strong pull toward masculinity—both inside and outside my body. This is now my third Plantally session, but it is the first time I am doing it entirely out of my own impulses.

The name Andreas means "strong and manly." I was raised with a lot of discipline and started gymnastics at an early age, where I had to experience many traumas related to masculinity. My father had a strong mentality of discipline and wouldn’t allow certain ways of expressing feelings. He held specific beliefs about how a child should behave and made those clear. As a result, I pushed my emotions down for years & never really learned what I want. I was just a child trying to survive in a world that felt new to me. I barely spoke about what happened until my mid-twenties, out of loyalty and respect for my parents. I want to mention that this is an objective sharing. I love both of my parents deeply, and I have truly forgiven them, knowing that they always did their best for me. They, too, were new to the roles of fatherhood and motherhood.

My gymnastics training started when I was 4½ years old, and our teacher was a man. A simple question: How do you teach a child to do splits, forward bends, or any posture requiring flexibility?

You apply force to the body until it reaches its limits, expressed through cries, escape attempts or tears. There was no escape; you had to endure the pain. Eventually, there were no more tears left in my young body after some years. I reached a point where I gave up on the idea that my decisions really mattered—I just followed what I was told to do. I began to believe that pain was my orientation in life, something I had to follow. I became the best—seven years in a row as the Bavarian champion—yet nobody ever questioned the methods.

My body, as I received it, was mainly driven by decisions made by others at that time. Everyone could enter my field; I had no boundaries. In school, I had to run away to avoid getting beaten. At home, I had to follow certain structures to survive. And in my training, which happened six times a week for more than two hours a day, I was trained to become a machine that works perfectly— DIAMONDS are made under pressure.

From that young age, I built a huge wall around myself and became triggered whenever another masculine presence entered my energy field. Whether their intentions were good or bad didn’t matter—I was always aware of it, and I still am. I either pushed them away or withdrew to feel secure and safe. For many years, I held an image of a strong soldier who needed to survive alone, without any help from others.

I had to end my career when I was 13 because the proportions of my knees to my muscles were not growing equally, causing me even more pain. Being free in this world now, all the darkness & the wars from inside came out in forms of abuse, violence, and rebellion. And trust me I became one of the best in this. I’ve burned my environment more than once, leaving a trail of hurt from my fiery personality.

Growing up this way, I was always driven to endure pain, thinking it was the right choice if it involved my emotions. Allowing myself to truly live with joy is something I am still learning. I often turned my aggression inward, sabotaging myself in many ways, and feeling as though I had been stabbed in the back, especially by men or women with a strong masculine side. I lacked a sense of safety during my childhood, which is why I became a warrior for the world. I made myself stronger, excelled in everything I did, and always set the bar higher than anyone else around me. I became my own harshest judge. I’m not sharing this from a victim's perspective, but rather to show how I’ve come to the point where I now feel the call to do more inner work. For many years, I tried to fit into the business world but always ended up abusing drugs, experiencing burnouts, or sabotaging myself in ways that led to pain.

As I connected more with my inner work, I slowly began to understand why I behaved this way. Why do I always feel the need to provide for others or change my character to please people? Why don’t tears come even when I want to cry? Why is it so hard for me to feel my own emotions? The more I delved into my inner work, the lighter I became, but the challenges also grew as I learned to accept and grow.

I am now 33 years old, which is a significant number for many people when I share my age. Born and raised in Bavaria, I’m now traveling through South America. This year, I’ve felt a strong connection to Jesus. It feels as though I had to suffer. My relationship recently ended abruptly after nine years. Although it was a process, I didn’t see it coming. I was blinded by my own vision. Just when I felt the strongest connection with my life partner and was ready to start a family, I had to face reality. There was no more attraction, and she couldn’t see a future with me anymore. the loyalty was gone to me as her partner. Whether you call it a pause or a breakup, I had to leave the nest we had built in Portugal because I no longer felt that I had a place there. I experienced the most intense two months of emotions and released so much energy that had been blocked for many years.

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. This dramatic experience in my life taught me a lot about myself once I emerged from the darkness. I began to connect more with my role as a man in this world, stopped trying to please others, and rediscovered my true self. I opened up to the sessions with Plantally because I wanted to. Before, I always felt a need to be someone for my partner, since she also participated in the sessions with Andy. I knew the work was good for me, so I felt I should do it, like a child who knows what’s best but simply doesn’t feel it yet—which is alright. When I heard that a space became open, I jumped at the opportunity to take part.

I took a long break from joining the sessions with Andy because, as I now understand, I was triggered by him as a man. An abused child is within me, and it needs a father to heal. I have to become that father for my own child. The last session I participated in was with cannabis, where I felt a strong impulse toward sexuality—I needed it! I wanted to find safety with women. At that time, my partner was not open to connecting, she was also participating in the session and didn’t feel the urge. This plant ruled my life for many years, but in the end, it no longer served me. I speak of it in a feminine way because, over the last few years, I mainly connected with female plants in real life.

During that session, I truly wanted to change my approach to relationships. I thought the solution would be external and that if I could connect with other women, it would change something within me. Making big decisions while connected with the plants is something I will never do again, and I do not recommend it. It’s a process where a lot is stirred up—just my personal opinion.

Plantally sessions for me are like climbing a hill. At one point, I connect with the medicine and start climbing. Sometimes it’s hard from the beginning; sometimes, I have a nice entrance into it. This time, the entrance was soft but grew stronger over time. Many phases came up for me, which I will discuss more. At one point, there’s the peak of the mountain, which is, for me, the actual session while listening to the playlist. I am always so excited and impatient, feeling so much that I can’t even sit still. I guess it’s like the thrill of climbing and then standing at the top of the mountain. The integration is the walk back down. For some, it’s hard to descend, but I often feel relieved that I challenged myself in this way. Like any journey, you take the experience with you and remember a bit more about yourself.

During this session with Sacred Baboon, I also had a connection to my sexuality, but in a different way. I felt like inviting the feminine side into my field, letting her simply explore who I am. If everything aligned, sexuality would be an option. I could feel many impulses coming from my root, in other words—my penis throbbed many times, which is unusual for me. Especially with one close woman, there was a consistent energy flow that wanted to be free.

I was also surrounded mainly by other men during the session. There were a lot of discussions about sexuality and some collective movements toward women, like dancing around them like monkeys at festivals, observing them on the streets or in public places. A lot of energy was directed in this way.

I found it inspiring to see how much effort other men put into this topic. Having been in a long-term relationship, I had forgotten the quality of "conquering and courting" the opposite sex—playing around, meeting, and connecting without taking it too seriously or thinking about family and kids, one step at a time. I mainly have a mentality of attraction, like a magnet, rather than actively playing the fiery masculine card to make myself visible. That’s something I realized during the session—I don’t want to burn others with my fire, so I hold back. This belief about masculinity is deeply rooted in my childhood.. In my past experiences, whenever I went too strong into my fire, I either burned myself out or burned others around me. Finding my own structure and boundaries is one of the biggest tasks for me. All my zodiac signs relate to the energy of Yang. I know how much fire I have within me, but in recent years, I’ve been really scared to let it burn. I kept it as small as possible to avoid hurting myself through my actions.

During the session, two things became so clear to me. First, I laughed so much from my belly, connecting with other men in groups like never before. Second, during this time, I had so many deep and meaningful conversations about boundaries and brotherhood. I found it a welcome way to share knowledge and experiences in all forms and was fully open to receiving.

Reflecting on my past life and my connections with women, I felt that I lost a lot of my masculinity during my last relationship. I tried to adapt to my partner’s sexuality and lost touch with my own impulses—my animal, wildness, and authentic needs. I lost weight, purpose, and became a soft, empathetic man.
Even though I got hurt or felt unseen, I needed that relationship. Reflecting on it, I now see the connection to my mother—the need for the other sex. My mother, whom I needed when I was young and experiencing pain from the masculinity around me, to help me and be there for me—see me, please.

Seeing all of this now with an open heart, it's no wonder why I am by myself now. Having carried this burden for so many years, I still feel there was a big child within me that wanted to be seen by me. Doing the Vision Quest this year in Portugal allowed me to grow into a man. I could really feel a lot of energy related to becoming a father. Life offered me the chance to first become the best father for my own inner child, taking care of that one. Not just becoming a man, but also stepping up into the role of a king is a huge step for me. Now I understand that if I want to invite a queen into my temple, I first need to clean up the mess of my past. These sessions help a lot to make visible what needs to be seen.

During this session, I studied a lot about "people pleasing," and it all made so much sense to me. Why did nobody tell me about this earlier?! It's always so interesting how important puzzles come up during the sessions with Plantally. All of a sudden, a blind spot in my own being becomes visible to me. I realized I was passively aggressive for many years and really didn’t have any way to compensate. My inner child was not used to expressing emotions, nor was the grown-up me.

Surprisingly, during this session, I felt a strong impulse to work out a lot. Normally, I am definitely not a gym person, but because of the session, I now feel a stronger connection to push my body to its limits through exercise once again. The sole of my right foot started to hurt a lot at one point, but my mind still told me that I needed to run every now and then to get more energy moving in my body. I was eating enough for two people, feeling so much hunger, and gained weight during the session. I felt a lot of testosterone in my body, with this pumped-up physique. I spent money on things I wanted to learn, like kite surfing, and had a time full of surprises.
My decisions were mainly driven by impulses and instincts. What I felt, I put straight into action. I felt the urge to move to another city, so I did. I had impulses to speak to somebody, so I spoke out what I had to say. Not many things stayed undone during this time. I also felt a good portion of guidance, and my path was really clear about where to go next in my travels in Ecuador.

In the final days before the actual session, I got so weak and mainly enjoyed life around a small city called Baños. I felt a strong urge to cocoon, so I moved from shared rooms into a private room. The feeling of imbalance in my body became stronger. I developed a strong connection to the thermal baths here and spent many hours in the hot water. Whenever I went out, I felt cold, even though it was sunny and quite warm here. Taking small walks was all I could manage and think of.

On the day the actual session started, I didn’t even realize it was that day. My mind was somewhere else.
Switching on the music and lying down, I faced a hard challenge this time. I was really impatient in the first few minutes. I couldn’t focus on the music or my breath. My mind drifted many times to future projects, things I wanted to do and would do. Where do I want to be? What do I want to be? Lots of impulses. I needed to stand up a couple of times, shake out what was there, and return to the place I had prepared for the session.

At one point, I started breathing heavily, and my body began shaking, especially around my belly and root area. My arms lifted up, and I didn’t really have control over the movements. Reflecting on it now, I might have even looked like a monkey, jumping around in unpredictable movements. At one point, my right hand calmed the movements down and stayed on my private parts until the end of the playlist. Both hands shaped a diamond in this area, pointing downward. My legs were spread apart, heels together, as in the butterfly pose. I opened up my roots, and something entered my energy system that I had been pushing away for a long time. If I try to describe it, I felt a strong connection to my body, trust in my impulses, and a sense of trust in men. I had arrived in my body. Acceptance rose up, and I want to explore my world with this new foundation.

The integration is now happening, and by speaking about it, I once again realize how valuable this work is and how long I wanted to push it away. Mainly because I didn’t know if this was really a path I wanted to continue or not. Can I really allow myself to go down this path? I could feel the connections, but it was so hard for my brain to understand. Talking with others about it without being judged was difficult. I was scared that my whole world would be turned upside down.Being now on my own, traveling through South America, connected to what I feel I should do, brings up the confidence to continue this path. I know it’s something that took time to allow to happen. Many times in the past, I got triggered because I could see how these sessions influenced my partner, and I wanted her to stay the way she was. Every time I felt we were growing more distant, I tried to keep up. This added even more pressure, and I couldn’t handle it in a mature way. For me, it wasn’t the right time to go down this path because I needed to focus on different things first—or at least that’s what I told myself in the past. There was a lot of sharing about the process and the sessions, but I only saw the time spent ascending the mountain. The benefits that came after the session weren’t really shared, so I didn’t fully see the sense in it until I dove into the work myself.

As I speak and write about this journey, I can still feel a strong connection to the medicine. There are many ways for me at the moment to see the connection to the Baboon in my daily life, especially in the behavior of other men around me.

Days after the session, I could feel a strong, driving energy coming toward me from both sides. I feel powerful, the pain in my right leg is gone, and I will continue on this path, connecting more with what the world has to offer.

Thanks to my current situation and all the decisions of the past, I can freely choose my own journey, with my arms still open to receive the feminine side in person from the world while also being connected with my own truth. I invite everything into my field that wants to be seen and healed on this path with Plantally. I feel blessed being chosen or chose this path in life. I was born a warrior in this world, preparing for battle. Now, it’s time for me to turn this battle inward. With courage and strength, I am facing and confronting the parts of myself that fuel my inner conflict.

Thank you, Andy & your supportive Team, for offering this work. I am grateful we met in this way.

Love & Harmony,

Andreas